It’s where the heart is, it’s where you wanna be
Or is it?
Is it wrong for not wanting to visit?
Because I don’t want to get dragged into your shiznit?
Because I’m tryna work to be the illest, the realest,
And nothing short of the greatest.
But how can we do that if you’re always tryna bait us?
When I say “us” I mean myself and the like
Because I know I’m not alone with these thoughts up at night
Every time I move forward, I get set back
I can guarantee it, it’s a fact
Not because I irresponsibly spent a stack
But because my family’s idea of progression is wack.
It’s not the intellect they lack,
It’s the respect for one another
You don’t even acknowledge that your grandchild has a living mother
They “try to help” when you’re down & out
It’s barely all good, until they can’t help themself.
You’re an inconvenience, you’re a nuisance
How? I followed the rules! I didn’t even do shit!
All of a sudden I have a drug problem and you say I need rehab
This ain’t a drug problem, I don’t miss work to do dabs
I don’t neglect bills to get high
I pay them shits then prepare to fly
You see, because I’m not you, I’m not none of y’all
I don’t do what yall do and for that y’all want me to fall
My family has tried to evict me, put me in jail, even grabbed a knife to stick me,
For the record, it all hurts, no matter how you try to dress it up in a skirt.
Family feud? Hah, this family is screwed. Like a whole thanksgiving turkey that’s already been chewed.
We can’t even come together for a meal,
but I don’t have to ask why, I already know the deal.
Y’all are my family through biology and marriage only
If we didn’t have that connection I’m sure you’d probably stone me
I don’t know what you’re looking at but this is the grown me
I’m not following your footsteps but I am going off what you’ve shown me
Maybe that’s why I’m lonely
Because I grew out of faking the funk,
Ever since I was a kid I knew something around here stunk
And it wasn’t my Uncle Kev always showing up drunk
I am not like y’all and y’all are not like me
There is no real love in your hearts
Maybe if you got on someone’s couch and talked about it, that’d be a start
Maybe if you looked at yourself instead of blaming everyone at Wal-Mart
For the reason why you’re stressed and your blood pressure raised, look inside yourself, really gaze
Maybe you’ll find reasoning behind senseless blowups on those tough days
Family can be you friends or your partners at work
You wanna help, you’d do anything, even give up your shirt
Only for them to talk about how they helped you first
Communication is everything
When it’s good it’s like in-season Christmas lights on an evergreen
But when it’s bad, it’s very bad
Misinterpretations can make you forget everything you ever had
That my distress is what makes you glad
That when I look at you I don’t even see my dad
I see what you’ve become harboring, Ill will inside
To be quite honest, I’m petrified.
One of many reasons I don’t like to be around
Aint no smiles it’s all frowns.
Even when I sit in silence
And let you go through your guy shit
I respect your time and wishes and don’t resort to violence
But you do
Or you want me to
And for that I have to say
I bid you adieu ✌️